


psych

by kaspbrakattack



Series: sike! [1]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King, Psych
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, bev is chief vick, bowers’s gang are just a bunch of low-lifes and crappy cops, eddie is a mix of jules and lassie, i can’t get this idea out of my head so, it fits so well!!, literally no one, richie is shawn, stan is gus, the psych!au no one asked for
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 13:06:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13124340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaspbrakattack/pseuds/kaspbrakattack
Summary: Richie is not a psychic, but he’ll do anything to get out of calling his dad and telling him he’s been arrested (again).





	1. couch calls

**Author's Note:**

> hi welcome i have commitment issues to my stories !! bls enjoy

Richie Tozier really does want to enjoy making out with this girl. He really, _truly_ does. It’s not at all his fault that he’s so easily distracted.

The television clicks on by accident as the two of them shuffle across his cramped sofa. Richie squints at the screen, while the girl—he doesn’t even know her _name_ —kisses roughly along his jawline.

“We really don’t know for sure,” the man on the screen fidgets, “and it’s been a tough week.”

**_Fidgeting. No eye-contact. Nervous._ **

_Tell-tale signs,_ Richie thinks as he scoots across the couch cushions, the girl following close behind. Richie snags his phone off the end table, dialling quickly.

“What’re you doing?” The girl stops kissing him long enough to look at him and pout.

“Calling the _police_ ,” Richie says, ignoring the feeling of her lips on his skin. “I think I just solved a case.”

“I didn’t know you were a cop,” the girl says softly. Her eyes are all droopy and in his face. Richie would rather push her off and deal with this phone call, but he lets her stay at it for the time being.

“No,” Richie shakes his head violently, “never a cop.”

“ _9-1-1, what’s your emergency?_ ”

“Uh, yeah, hi,”

“ _Hello, how can we help you?_ ”

“It's the store manager,” Richie states, straight to the point.

“ _Excuse me?_ ”

“The store manager, at that RadioShack downtown. He’s the one who’s been stealing all the merchandise,” Richie huffs and shoves the girl off of him, just for a moment. He needs to focus, and right now, she’s being a distraction. “On Channel 12, right now! He’s fidgeting and he won’t even make eye-contact with the reporter. Somebody get down there and arrest him before I do.”

“ _Anything else, sir?_ ”

“I could really use some pad thai, but that can wait for now.”

“ _Your name, sir?_ ”

“Richard Tozier, ma’am. Don’t forget it!”


	2. you have the right to remain idiotic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie isn’t a detective, but he might as well be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love this au sm wowie
> 
> early update !! just wanted to add to my little beginning ig :) each chapter is v short but fits w the scenes of the episode

The police station is crowded and buzzing with activity. Richie shoves his hands into his jeans, walking up to the receptionist’s desk casually. The wind whistles outside the large windows. Richie shivers involuntarily.

“I’m not sure, Eileen,” the receptionist says into the phone. “Is this really a good idea?”

“Ahem,” Richie clears his throat.

The woman puts up a finger, signalling she’ll just be a minute. Richie sighs and scuffs his dirty old converse against the floor. Detectives and officers shuffle in and out of the lobby area, into the main offices or out to their cars.

**_Crystals. Dreamcatchers._ **

“Yes, dear?”

“I’m here for my reward money?” The receptionist gives Richie a skeptical look.

“We haven’t posted anything about a reward, I’m afraid,” the clerk—Virginia, so her name tag states—turns back to her monitor.

“I called in a tip, the other day,” Richie’s patience is thinning. “About the RadioShack robberies? I’m Richie Tozier.”

“Mr. Tozier?”

Richie looks up at the sound of his name. Standing directly across from him is a stocky young man wearing a uniform, and a badge with Hanscom inscripted into it. He smiles at Richie encouragingly. “I’m Officer Hanscom, and I’ll take you to see our Head Detective.”

“Perfect! Thanks, Haystack. You’re a real lifesaver, pal,” Richie waves goodbye to the receptionist. Officer Hanscom blushes at the nickname, and leads Richie down a long hallway.

“Detective Kaspbrak is in the room at the end of the hall,” Hanscom smiles at Richie before turning on his heel and rushing out. Richie watches him as he goes, noting the skip in his steps.

**_Dance Lessons. Wedding? Some kind of event._ **

The thoughts flood into Richie’s mind and jumble together. Sometimes they come in flashes, others in waves. They’re always useful, and about as accurate as you can get from a _very_ educated guess. Richie books it to the end of the hall, not planning on making a bad impression on _Detective Kaspbrak._

The door is a bright, blood-red, and the knob looks a little worn for wear. Richie knocks politely, bouncing on the balls of his feet. The door swings open so fast, Richie is almost positive that whoever is behind it must have whiplash or vertigo or whatever it is.

When Richie sees exactly who it is behind the door, a small smirk applies itself onto his face. He can’t help it—this guy’s adorable! With soft brown curls and chocolate doe eyes, the man standing in front of Richie is the cutest thing he has ever seen. He stands merely ( ** _Five five. Five six on good days._** ) and barely reaches Richie’s shoulders. He glares menacingly, but it kind of loses its scare-factor because of his size.

“Are you Richard Tozier?” The man behind the door asks with a scowl.

“At your service,” Richie stands to his full height, stiff as a board. He gives a swift, two-finger salute. “I’m here for my reward.”

“Why would you be getting a reward?” The detective shifts from the doorframe, giving Richie just enough room to squeeze inside. The room he’s just entered looks about as bland as the hallway that led to it.

“For my tip? I called in the tip about the RadioShack robberies,” Richie eyes the steel table in the center of the room warily. “You guys caught the guy, right?”

“Huh-have a s-s-seat, Mr. Tuh-Tozier,” another detective says from his spot at the table.

“Is this some kind of joke to you, Mr. Tozier? You think robbery is something to laugh about?” The guy who had answered the door slams his hands onto the table. Richie flinches instinctively.

“No, no, no,” Richie shakes his head quickly, “you’ve got this all wrong! I helped you guys out, now I get some money for the tip! That’s all I’m here for, gentlemen.”

“Uh-uh-about that tuh-tip, Tozier. Yuh-you said you g-g-got your ih-information from Ch-channel 8,” Detective Number Two starts, “but th-that seems a luh-l-little farfetched, to m-me.”

“A little? Just a tad bit, Bill?” Detective Number One looks back at his partner ( ** _Bill. Redhead. Tall. Lanky. Happy._** ) with a sneer.

“I swear on all broken ice cream machines at almost every McDonald’s in existence, I don’t know what you two are on about,”

“You, Richard, are unemployed,” Detective Kaspbrak begins counting off his fingers, “presumably poor, soul-suckingly obnoxious and have an arrest record.”

“That doesn’t even count! I was eighteen,” Richie scoffs, “and my _dad_ was the arresting officer. I was just borrowing a car.”

“Yuh-you s-s-stole a car,” Bill corrects.

“I’ve heard it both ways,” Richie looks between the two detectives. “You’re not really considering me as a robber, are you? C’mon guys, that’s ridiculous!”

“That RadioShack manager didn’t work alone,”

“And yuh-you seemed to nuh-know a lot about this c-c-case,”

Both detectives look at Richie harshly. Kaspbrak lifts an eyebrow, like he knows something Richie doesn’t. Richie hops to his feet.

“I didn’t _do_ anything! You guys can’t keep me here forever, I know my rights.” Richie huffs.

Bill and Detective No-Fun share a quick look. “You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of—”

“Are you—arresting me? I didn’t steal the merchandise, okay?”

Bill wrenched Richie’s arms behind his back, pulling out his cuffs. Kaspbrak looked smug, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Then how did you know about the manager! It had to be an inside job, and you ratted out your own associate!”

“I don’t even know the guy’s name, how could I call him an associate,” Richie wriggles in Bill’s sturdy grip.

“How. Did. You. Know?” The detective takes a step with every word. Richie and him are practically nose-to-nose.

“You really want to know?” Richie shakes a few stray curls from his face. “You really want to gain that kind of understanding?”

Richie is stalling. Richie is stalling and struggling in Stuttering Bill’s strong hold. He has no clue what to say next, but he thinks he can figure it out in time to get himself out of this mess. Correction: he hopes he can figure it out.

“Please, inform me,”

“I don’t know if your average, human brain could even _comprehend_ this, Detective. It’s not for everyone, y’know.”

“Juh-just tell us, T-Tozier,” Richie turns to give Bill a small shrug.

“I knew about the robberies because,” _pause for dramatic effect_ , “I’m psychic.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so glad you guys enjoy this !! i really love it and am excited to say i know which episodes of psych i’ll be rewriting into kinda/sorta short fics!! it’s 22 episodes long, so the sike! series will have 22 works. there are episodes from each season, and the plot will move along just like it did in the show
> 
> also!! i kinda originally planned on having eddie as gus, but eddie’s personally fit better w a jules/lassie kind of role and stanley the manley is richie’s best friend anyways !! it all works out in the end


	3. (interim) chief of police

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie has an encounter with the Chief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it’s so short :/

“Mr. Tozier!”

Richie turns around, coming face-to-face with (Interim) Chief of Police, Beverly Marsh. She’s as pregnant as anyone woman can be, and is waddling at a remarkably fast pace. She stops right in front of Richie.

“Chief! What an unexpected surprise, but really, I gotta be on my way—”

“Cut the crap, Mr. Tozier.”

“Sorry, ma’am,”

“Don’t _ever_ call me ma’am, and you’re off the hook,”

Richie nods quickly, his curls bouncing with the movement. “Is there something I can do for you, chief?”

“You ever heard of the Keene family?”

“Ever heard of them? They own half of Derry! Of course I know who they are,”

“There’s been a kidnapping,” Chief Marsh gives Richie a knowing look.

“Oh, come _on_! First they snag me, trying to say I stole some radios, and now that crazy detective’s got you on my case.”

“Detective Kaspbrak is an amazing cop, Mr. Tozier.”

“Listen, Chief, I had _nothing_ to do with the Keene kidnapping, I swear.” Richie starts to turn back towards his bike.

“Would you like to?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys i’m so sorry!! it’s been too long but we’ve been getting back on schedule after the holidays, it’s been super hectic around here. i’m back and better than ever! also i know this was really short but i’ll be updating again later and STANIEL will finally be introduced!! huzzah. 
> 
> also i’ve added some more episodes to the list of ones i’ll be writing for, and i might do a few drabbles here and there bc i love this verse


	4. author's note

hey guys! i just wanted you all to know that i am going to be rewriting this work into a one-shot! it won't be super short or anything, and the formatting will be much better overall. i hope you can all bear with me, seeing as i don't have a lot of time on my hands for anything other than school and extracurriculars.

 

 ** _also_ **!! i was wondering if anyone would like to be a beta reader for future multi-chaptered works, series and/or one-shots! you can pm me on here (except i'm not too sure how it works, so the replies may be slow), or you can email me at [mackwritesstuff@gmail.com](mailto:mackwritesstuff@gmail.com)!

 

thanks for all of the love and support, and i hope you guys are ready for the rewritten version of _psych!_

**Author's Note:**

> me: let’s write a cute hogwarts au bc we’re super original !! and love the losers club !
> 
> also me: completely ignore your other work for a new series of short stories based off a tv show that fits the losers club perfectly!!
> 
> this will be based off of psych the tv show that was on usa!! my family and i really love the show and while rewatching it again i discovered how much shawn reminds me of richie!! and thus this was born :) each work will be labeled as the episode it’s based on!! this chapter is really just an intro most chapter’s will be short and sweet but there will be plenty!! i’m gonna try and do about two or three works per season
> 
> feedback, comments and kudos are always appreciated —mack


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